CHINA OFFENDED BY AXL ROSE, POUTS IN CORNER OF PLAYGROUND

In a story by The Associated Press, China's ruling Communist Party has taken exception to the long-awaited, near-mythic Guns N' Roses album, "Chinese Democracy," slated to hit store shelves on Sunday.

The album, which has been in production since 1994 (No, no; you read that right), the disc is being seen as an attack upon the Glorious People's Republic of China, where a state-owned paper published an article Monday with the headline, "American band releases album venomously attacking China." Unidentified Chinese Internet users had described the album as part of a plot by some in the West to "grasp and control the world using democracy as a pawn." The album "turns its spear point on China," the article said.

In the Communist Party's defense , the record's title track does include the lyrics, and warns "if your Great Wall rocks blame yourself." And we all know that if there's a man with his finger on the global pulse, with bags and bags of relevancy, and scores of malleable youth hanging on his every word, it's W. Axl Rose.