Tuesday, December 25, 2007


So, I came upon this funny story about the best quotes of the year. Good stuff. Hope you enjoy the quotes.

10. "I think as far as the adverse impact on the nation around the world, this administration has been the worst in history." -- Former President Jimmy Carter

9. "I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." -- Biden describing rival Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama.

8. "(I have) a wide stance when going to the bathroom." -- Idaho Republican Sen. Larry Craig's explanation of why his foot touched that of an undercover policeman in a men's room.

7. "I'm not going to get into a name-calling match with somebody (Vice President Dick Cheney) who has a 9 percent approval rating." -- Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

6. "There's only three things he (Republican presidential candidate and former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani) mentions in a sentence: a noun and a verb and 9/11." -- Sen. Joseph Biden.

5. "I don't recall." -- Former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' repeated response to questioning at a congressional hearing about the firing of U.S. attorneys.

4. "That's some nappy-headed hos there." -- Shock jock Don Imus' comments about the Rutgers University women's basketball team.

3. "In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country." -- Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's October comment at Columbia University in New York.

2. "I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don't have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and Iraq and everywhere like such as and I believe that they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa and should help Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us." -- Lauren Upton, the South Carolina contestant in the Miss Teen America contest in August, answer to a geography question.

And last but not least, our number one:

"Don't Tase me, bro." -- University of Florida student Andrew Meyer on Sept. 17, during a speech by Sen. John Kerry.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007


And now, some Christmas cheer from one of my all-time fave-oh-rite holiday flicks:

''We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.''

Wednesday, December 12, 2007


I usually strive for religious tolerance. I don't practice any particular organized religion, Western or otherwise. But I try to be respectful of others' faith and beliefs. But I'm getting pretty damned tired of all the fundamentalism in the world these days.

This story slapped me in the face today. A 16-year-old girl was allegedly choked to death by HER FATHER after an argument over her refusal to wear a hajib, the Islamic headscarf donned by some Muslim women.

Her 57-year-old father was taken into custody by Peel Regional Police in Toronto, Ontario, according to the WDIV Channel 4 Detroit Web site, citing a Toronto newspaper Web site. Police wouldn't ID the father, or the daughter, who was ID'ed by friends as Aqsa Parvez, according to the National Post of Toronto.

According to these friends, Parvez's family is very strict concerning Muslim law, and her father and brother had both threatened her. "(Her father) said that if she leaves, he would kill her," her friend told the paper. Another friend said Parvez had previous fights with her father over wearing Islamic dress and her hijab all of the time.

Now, I took anthropology and sociology classes in college. I try not to fall prey to ethnocentrism. Other cultures and religions are different, and I want to respect those differences, which isn't always easy for me. I have an aversion to absolute authority, and so I sometimes find cultures where authority is unchallenged and dictates every aspect of life, umm, repulsive. But I try to keep my mouth shut. It's their culture, after all, not mine.

But you have got to be effing kidding me. How can any culture or religion condone such an act? How can it be acceptable to murder your own child because they didn't want to wear a piece of cloth around their heads? Islam does not allow for murder, no matter what fundamentalist Muslims want to quote. IT JUST PLAIN DOESN'T! Anything else is a perversion. And any culture that will look the other way when it comes to the subjugation and degradation of women isn't a culture worthy to exist on this planet. It sickens me down to the very core of my being.

I should say, though, that I realize that not all Muslims are like this. In fact, it's a minority, I'd wager, and they've cast what should be a peaceful religion in a pale light. But the problem is that the majority of Muslims don't seem to be standing up for their religion, much the way that most Christians can't seem to be bothered to wrest their religion back from the Religious Right. It's a shame, really.


Fans of all things Indiana Jones, rejoice. Shots from the new Indy flick, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, have hit teh Intarweeb. Initially, I was afraid our boy, Harrison Ford, might not be able to pull of the fedora, worn leather jacket and bullwhip. But our favorite playboy archaeologist still got it goin' on. Here, rejoice in the coolness that is Indy.

I'm pretty stoked about Shia LaBeof and Ray Winstone being added to the cast. I've had an affinity for LaBeof since Even Stevens, and he helped make Constantine palatable, despite Keanu Reeves being miscast as the titular character. Winstone is a wildly talented everyman who has added depth to damn near everything he's been in (check him out in The Proposition). And Marion returns, the first and greatest of all of Indy's loves, back on the trail. Karen Allen has aged well, I might add.

Sunday, December 9, 2007


Well, the Steelers failed to deliver, and the Patriots' record slides up to 13-0. Meanwhile, the Cowboys have improved to 12-1. Bleargh.
Lemme just say that if this year's Super Bowl ends up being between the Pats and the Cowboys, I may just have to boycott the whole she-bang-a-bang. I've always loathed Dallas, and I'm afraid I'm riding the sick-of-New-England bus. And what respect I had for the team, and Bill Belichick as a coach, evanesced in the midst of the taping scandal. So, I think I'd rather do anything else than suffer through professional football's greatest day, watching these two teams go at it.

Saturday, December 8, 2007


So, it's 4:25 in the morning, and I'm wishing I were dead. I ate something earlier that seems to be having a difference of opinion with my digestive system on the finer points of stomach acid and digestibility. So, I've been making frequent trips to the bathroom, and wishing for a swift and painless death. Or even a swift and painful one, 'cause I'm pretty sure it wouldn't suck as much as this does.

During this brief respite, I decided to check the news online, to help take my mind off my misery, when I saw this little tidbit...seems that Katherine Heigl of Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up fame wants to clarify some statements about the movie that she made previously.

Seems she said that Knocked Up was "a little bit sexist," and that the movie "paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as lovable, goofy, fun-loving guys. It was hard for me to love the movie."

To which I respond, "Ah durr." It's a Judd Apatow film. What did you expect?

Anyway, Katherine's defense was to say, "I was responding to previous reviews about the movie the interviewer brought to my attention. My motive was to encourage other women like myself to not take that element of the movie too seriously and to remember that it's a broad comedy. Although I stand behind my opinion, I'm disheartened that it has become the focus of my experience with the movie. The truth is, it was the best filming experience of my career. Every person that was a part of making Knocked Up helped to encourage, support and inspire me. I never intended for anyone to think otherwise."

Wait, wait. I'm no good at math, but how does one go from "a little bit sexist," and "it was hard for me to love the movie," to, "My motive was to encourage other women like myself to not take that element of the movie too seriously and to remember that it's a broad comedy." How does that work?

See, the thing I don't seem to be understanding is how she could have possibly read the script, which was more than likely clearly marked, "By Judd Apatow," and sincerely have been surprised by the humor. I mean, she read the damned thing. It was probably all in there. And yes, I'm sure there's a legitimate disconnect sometimes between what actors read and envision, and the reality of the finished product. But come on, it's JUDD APATOW! Y'know, he of The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Superbad. How surprised could you be at the sophomoric humor and the mildly inappropriate characterizations of women? It's JUDD APATOW!

Seriously, someone needs to sit Katherine Heigl down and tell her, "Honey, if you want career longevity, try not to piss on everyone you work for, 'kay?" She did that with the producers of Grey's, and now it looks like she did that with the writer/director, producers and cast of the movie that helped upgrade her cred to A-list with a bullet. But hey, there's quite a bit to be said for career suicide. Just look what it did for Isaiah Washington.

If you'll excuse me, I have to retch now. From the food, not Katherine Heigl.

Thursday, December 6, 2007