BIG DEAL #487

I don't usually follow politics in other states...mostly 'cause I don't live there, and I can barely be bothered at this point to give a hoot about politics in my home state. But it's been nearly impossible to escape the story about New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer and his dalliances with women of negotiable affection. The thing that I don't understand is why it's such a big deal.

Now, before you start hyperventilating and gesticulating wildly, I get the fact that he's married, and has always borne a squeaky-clean kind of an image. So, yeah, the whole cheating-on-his-wife thing? That makes him a dirtbag of the highest order. And the fact that he's always portrayed himself as a righteous fella only serves to twist the knife counter-clockwise.

No, the thing I don't understand is why people get all bent out of shape when a person frequents a prostitute. I've never done so myself, but what's the big deal? As long as both parties are consenting adults and no one's getting hurt, who gives a crap if someone has to, or wants to, pay to have sex? I think this is just one more way that people can feel that sweet tingle of righteous indignation, point a finger, and tell other people how to live. Me, I'm all for legalized prostitution. That way, the government could wrangle some income taxes and monitor the business and law enforcement officers could stop wasting time busting hookers.

Priorities. We need them.

THIS JUST IN...

I was checking out Newsweek online, when I noticed something wrong with their headlines:

'Idol' narrows competition to 24 singers
Hezbollah chief threatens Israel
Justice Dept: Waterboarding not legal
Trade deficit falls after 5 record years
Astronauts work on Columbus lab

Do you notice it, too? How in the hell did American Idol top those other four stories? And what does that say about mainstream media, as well as the general population?

Sigh.

A SHOOTING STAR

By now, most folks have heard about the untimely death of Heath Ledger. Gossip hounds have already begun circling, spouting off about who's apartment he was found in; was he found in the nude or not; and my, there were pills in the vicinity. But what's important is that a gifted young man has died too young, and left a child who will never know her father beyond the pictures, the films and the commentary on his passing.

But there's an element of this all that bothers me, I'm afraid (beyond the salacious nature of the gossip already floating around). Before I get to that, though, I feel I should preface this with this statement: I respect Heath Ledger as an artist. I've always enjoyed his performances, even when it was in dreck like A Knight's Tale. His turn as Ennis Del Mar in Brokeback Mountain is in my Top Ten All-Time Favorite Performances. And it is a damned shame that he died. But here's the thing: it's no more a damned shame than when any 28 year old dies, or anyone, for that matter.

That's what bothers me; all this talk of how he was such a talented actor and what a loss it is to the world at large. Well, how is it any less a loss when a 28-year-old press mechanic dies in a work-related accident? How is it any less a loss to that person's family and friends? Is that how we measure a person's worth: what he means to the greater world at large? Are some people imbued with more currency than others? I think this dialogue exposes an unfortunate truth about celebrity and how society-at-large overvalues such a thing. I suppose that's bloody obvious, though, with how much the media is inundated with 24-hour celebrity news. We as a public feel this sense of proprietorship over those that occupy the entertainment industry.

But as much as I enjoyed his work, I refuse to believe that Heath Ledger's death is any more important than that 28-year-old factory worker's. No life is worth more than any other. And while we should mourn the loss of Heath Ledger, we should damn well mourn the loss of any life, no matter the station that person occupied.

SAY WHAT?

So, here's something fun: a trivia contest! The first person to correctly identify what movie this quote came from, as well as who said it, will win themselves a Cadbury creme egg! Eee!

Here are the rules: try not to use IMDB or Google. In fact, if you can stay away from the Internet, even better! If there are no winners by the end of the week, I'll give everybody a clue. Here's the quote:

"If I told you the Loch Ness monster hired me to hit the harbor, what would you say?"

Now, maybe this is too easy. If it is, next week's will be more difficult. That's right; this is going to be weekly fun. Woo!

LIKE A FINE WINE

Here's some '80s goodness from the boys in Motley Crue, just 'cause today felt like a good day for it. You're welcome.

IN PARTIBUS INFIDELIUM

Still don't think Tom Cruise is batshit crazy? Watch this video.

What, is this becoming an epidemic? Another asshole threw an infant off a bridge.

Some knuckleheaded editors and publishers tried to keep the whole "Lynch Tiger Woods" debacle alive, even as the clock on the incident was running down. (Yes, I'm aware I'm a journalist. But this is just sensationalism)

Some Mormons are concerned about the heat and attention Mitt Romney's bringing the church. Well, maybe if you weren't two steps from a cult (but five steps from the lunacy of Scientology. Aces!), people wouldn't worry so damned much.

A Wisconsin father is arrested for taping a Packers jersey to his son. He said it was a "joke." Hope it was "a fine and restraining order" funny.

A sitter is charged with murdering a one-year-old boy after swinging him around in a sleeping bag.

I guess living in a tropical paradise doesn't remedy road rage.

HEH

These things made me chuckle today:

Esquire has a story timelining Roger Clemens lying out loud. To the media.

Three fine lads took the clip of Terrell Owens crying (yeah, the one where he proclaimed to have his quarterback's back. Uh, can anyone say Jeff Garcia or DonovanMcNabb?) and turned it into a beer commercial.

An AP writer explains how seeing violence perpetrated on dogs in Hollywood gnaws away at the very core of his soul.