12 YEAR OLD REVOLUTIONIZES SOLAR CELL, STILL CAN'T GET DATE

But seriously, this story is wonderful. William Yuan, a seventh grader from Portland, Ore., designed a 3-D solar cell that not only absorbs visible light, but also UV rays.

It's refreshing to see things like this. It helps engender confidence in the future of humanity. And I secretly always wanted to be a science prodigy and go off to a specialized school and room with Val Kilmer, like in "Real Genius," and have Jon Gries live in my closet.

'CAUSE IT'S GOOD, THAT'S WHY

Hey, you. Yeah, you four people that check out this blog. You should buy this book. Why? 'Cause it's written by the incredibly gifted Karen Andrews, one of Australia's many talents.

Trust me; Karen has a way with the words. There's an honesty in her work, and not an ounce of pretense. Which is the way it should be.

At the very least, go over and give her blog a look-see. You won' t be disappointed.

THAT'LL WAKE YOU UP IN THE MORNING

So, I found that nothing quite knocks the cobwebs from your head first thing in the a.m. like stepping on a piece of broken glass with a bare foot.

ALL THE NEWS THAT FITS WE PRINT

CNN.com has the recent plane crash in Madrid, Spain as its top, breaking news story of the day. And while that's distressing enough, making things even worse is that a video clip discussing Roseanne Barr's vitriolic comments vilifying Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (as well as their kids), is also on the front page of the news section, rather than in entertainment. And yesterday, they had a front-page clip about Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer's break up.

I may work in this business we call news, but I'll be darned if I can figure it out some days.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE DEBATES, BITCHES...

Here then, is the greatest thing Paris Hilton has ever done...and probably ever will. Adam McKay, of funnyordie.com, cobbled together an idea for a response to John McCain's comparing Barack Obama to Paris and Britney Spears. Well, Ms. Hilton agreed to go along for the ride, and it's funny as hell. It also has a pretty sound energy plan.

Here, for your entertainment and edification, courtesy of FunnyorDIE:

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

WORD

This could be the funniest thing I've seen online in months:

Nothing says "Crime pays," like $17, dawg.

AWW, MAN...

Bo Diddley up and died.

And that just sucks. I mean, I can remember dancing like an idiot as a kid to that 5/4 rhythm of his in songs like "Bo Diddley" and "Who Do You Love?"

Hell, I still dance like an idiot when I hear those cuts.

Man...what a way to start the work week.

In honor of my man Bo, here's a little sumpin'-sumpin' to listen to.